Today I made the fatal error of drinking coffee. Since the merest whiff of coffee sends me into state of hyperactivity comparable to a toddler on speed, perhaps opting for a large gingerbread latte was a bad idea. I couldn't help it though. My defences were down due to the fact that I was up and about at the un-godly hour of nine o'clock, and apparently it's Christmas at Costa. Hence the gingerbread lattes and other festive treats. I tried to resist, knowing that caffeine causes me to rapidly alternate between two states-psychosis and urination, but I couldn't. The coffee was calling me.
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| I know I said I was at Costa, but for some reason I drew Starbucks. I'm a rebel. |
So, like a pathetic addict desperate for a fix, I went against my better judgement and bought the coffee. It tasted like curry in a cup, but I drank it anyway. Almost immediately the caffeine began working it's terrible magic, sending me into a strange jittery state which led me to believe that running across the park would be a fantastic idea. It wasn't. I got muddy.
I finally reached home, an energetic mess of gingerbread and mud, and proceeded to spin around rapidly for a few minutes. Once I got bored of spinning, I decided to find other ways to occupy my time and release my pent-up energy.
This whirlwind of activity lasted a few hours, then the more unpleasant effects of my caffeine hit kicked in. I had entered the ouch-my-head-hurts-and-I-really-need-a-wee stage, which combined with the why-does-my-stomach-feel-like-it's-jumping? feeling was not altogether pleasant. I began to mentally curse Costa for it's big Christmassy posters and inviting smell. I started to feel ashamed of my weakness. I needed another wee. The plus side however, was that I was able to concentrate for more than ten seconds again, which is handy when trying to write a blog. Now I think I'll go and have a lie down and beg the coffee gods to stop tap dancing on my brain.
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